Trustworthiness

Friends heading to sea today to spread ashes of a loved one

“The smallest good is infinitely greater than the grandest promise..”  - Macauley

“The only true decisions are the ones made with our hands and feet.”

     There is an old riddle about three frogs basking in the sun on a log in a pond.  One of the frogs makes a decision to jump into the water.  How many frogs are left on the log?  The answer is three.  Without action a decision is nothing more than a glorified intention, and we have all heard about the road to hell being paved with good intentions.  Our minds are fascinating things, and we can convince ourselves that we have done something when all we have done is to ponder it and engaged in wishful thinking. 

     There are many things that can help with this, but for me there are several that are particularly useful.  One is a “to-do” list.  If I train myself to jot down at the end of the work day those items that need attention, not only do I forget fewer things but the very notation on the page is a cue for action.  Rolling this list over day to day helps me see where I am procrastinating or lacking.  Another is forcing myself into accountability to people around me. The outside observer is much quicker to spot patterns of self-deceit, and those around me are usually willing to point out my inadequacies.  Giving them permission just takes the sting out of it.  And finally, taking the last few minutes of the day to review the day, looking for where I did well, where I was lacking and looking for any corrections I need to make helps not only to stay on track with what I am actually doing, but as a bonus the more that is off of my mind and on paper, the quicker to sleep and the more restful the night. 

Today, may I remember that lasting trust only materializes from trustworthiness.  D.Emch

All have a great Sunday

David 

Motives

“The inner thought coming from the heart represents the real motives and desires.  They are the cause of action.”  - Raymond Holliwell

“Too great a preoccupation with motives is likely to lead to too little concern for consequences.”   - Katherine Whitehorn

     Motives are the underlying reasons for our actions – most often hidden or obscure.  What a fascinating mine field thinking through this is!   Entangled and woven beneath our surface is a morass that appears to be beyond understanding – the true things that drive our actions and result in our patterns of behavior.  The second quote above shows the despair of that author – getting lost in this maze carries the risk of losing sight of the results of our actions – or doing the wrong things for the right reasons.  This then degenerates into the line of thought that the ends justify the means – the root of many of our biggest cultural problems. Can sense be made of this mess?

     For me, most often I am seeking either to control or to appreciate the things around me.  If I am seeking to control things I am operating out of fear.  I am afraid I will lose something I have or will not get something I want or need.  These things can be relationships, material things, ambitions, abilities or even what I perceive to be my existence itself.  However, if I seek to appreciate something I do not have the need to understand, classify, dissect and control it.  I can enjoy it just for its essence; existence itself is something that I can barely begin to fathom.  At its core, is not appreciation the foundation of love?   When I ask myself if what I am doing or seeking to do is rooted in fear or in love the answers usually become clear quickly.   When it becomes apparent that the motive is a hidden fear (which is quite often,) I can work to reveal, address and defang of that particular fear.  I will then be rid of one more disguised tyrant that robs me of my birthright – my humanity. 

Today, may I err on the side of compassion.  D.Emch

All have a great Saturday

David